My skin begins to crisp in the sun, I take a break in the shade, as a blue tongued skink searches for insects in the undergrowth of a purple flowering tree.
A pair of magpies land fifteen feet away and I keep a wary eye on them. One of the large, black and white birds rubs its beak against a metal railing. I imagine it sharpening its beak for better entrance into my retina. In a luscious, nearby park, a bird cries out in a guttural screech. By the sound of it, it must be a relative of velociraptors.
I take a deep breath and reacquaint myself with the strange sounds, smells, and warmth of Sydney.
I’ve spent weeks glued to my computer on 95 degree days looking for work. Job hunting is one of the most degrading / confidence knocking tasks on the planet. I feel capable of dealing with daily rejection calls one by one. But at the recent rate of twenty per day, well, I’d much prefer to get punched in the face by a chubby acne-scarred teenager.
While I may not be the best candidate in the world, I do believe I am indeed qualified to be a funeral attendant. I can easily produce an award-winning frown, giving me a natural and continued appearance of sadness and deep concern. Who wants a happy funeral attendant anyway? Would you really prefer to go to a funeral hall where, upon entrance a chipper young lass smiles and with a mirthful voice says, “Hi! Welcome to ‘Turn Your Frown Upside Down’ funeral services! Now don’t be a Debbie downer! Give us a smile! Your mate may be dead but hey- you’re still alive! Oh and fingers crossed! Maybe they left you something in their will! Cheers!”
So after today’s interview and after looking through today’s new job postings I have decided to take a break and enjoy the outdoors. It’s a good reminder that while I don’t have a job, at least I don’t have a job in a nice location.